March 28, 2018 Zeta 0Comment

The first time I watched this episode of South Park, I remember thinking of Ribena and laughing from the depth of my stomach. The member berries episode stuck, so here goes mine.

I remember the first time I beat Precious and Ivana on the track. God knows I felt like a different human being. Those seconds changed my life instantly.

Why so dramatic you ask.

Not at all, before this day, I was the third fastest runner in school, and track asides from academics was the only thing I was good at. I believe whatever you’re good at serves as a confidence booster.

I’d also admit that I had inferiority complex in school. My mother owns the high school I went to and so my family passed through that school and set a standard. I always in a race to be better and excel on my own terms. That day made me the woman I am today. It told me, “baby girl you can do anything you set your mind to.”

I remember the HOZ Event I held in October about two years ago which was a flop, my knees were weak and so was my bank account. Akin, Coco and Jumoke helped me that day with kind words.

Akin a photographer I was meeting for the first time. Life! I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs and this day showed me how strong I was. I could beat my chest and call myself an entrepreneur because I didn’t lie on the ground, instead, I asked how can I be better? A free event? Then let’s do it!

I remember the time I heard Ewere kissed Catherine and then Erica, I’d never felt betrayal so deep. It cemented my trust issues. I mean I couldn’t understand how my first boyfriend in high school who I saw all the time could cheat on me with my close friend at the time and my school sister.

I wrote that in my diary and someone stole it. Funny thing was despite that, I thought I loved him and it took me to graduation day to realise that I could heal from betrayal and hurt in every form it came in.  It made me paranoid and crazy, everybody around me was set up to leave and there was nothing I could do about it. Was it me? Was I the problem?

I remember when I lost talents after a week of training and portfolio development. My chest hurt, but my brain was active so my face was calm and I knew for sure that the heart of man was truly wicked. In this case, it was the hearts of Modupe and Dammie. One will come up to become a ‘top model’ and the other struggling but I smile because I know how karma works and she’s always collects.

I remember the first time I put pen to paper, it was an escape. No cliche, but they didn’t judge, they aligned with my thoughts and made me smile years later. I remember starting all over again and building on characters that had an element of me in them. I remember my mother finding my book of short poems and if she could, that woman was going to publish it. I love her to stupor!

I wrote this a while back and as I read it now, I’m happy I came out of these moments stronger.  These moments made me the woman I am today. The woman I am becoming.

It took a long time to get to this point where I’m at peace with my flaws, insecurities, defeating my fears and finding purpose. But there has never been a time like the present and I am loving it.

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